Friendship vs. Support System in the Beauty Industry

This is piggybacking off my last blog—the one where someone anonymously posted about me. (Yup, that one.) After sharing it, I got a flood of DMs, and honestly, it confirmed something I already knew: people are craving connection in this industry. Deep down, so many of us want industry besties. We want a support system. We want people who get it.

And I think that’s where the disconnect is happening.

Because yes—friendships can absolutely happen in this industry. I’ve made them. I’ve witnessed them. But I also know, they’re not always easy to find.

Let’s rewind to high school. Remember your best friend? They were your person. You shared everything, did everything together, ugly cried in their car, got grounded with them, maybe even snuck out with them. They weren’t just a friend—they were family. It made sense then. We had time, we had emotional bandwidth, and let’s be honest, we needed those friendships to survive those messy years.

But now? We’re adults. We have kids, careers, partners, bills, trauma, priorities, and a schedule that never quits. Friendship in adulthood looks very different—and sometimes, it just doesn’t look like that high school bond anymore. And that’s okay.

What I’ve noticed in this industry is that a lot of people are trying to replicate that high school bond with other artists—and when that doesn’t happen, they feel let down. There’s this pressure, especially as women, to support every other woman we come across. Every DM. Every follow. Every artist in our city. And honestly? That’s just not realistic—or healthy.

We will not vibe with everyone. We won’t align with every mindset. We won’t click with every personality. And that doesn’t make anyone a bad person. It just makes us human.

We can be respectful. We can stay in our lane. We can cheer each other on silently without overextending ourselves. But we have to stop acting like every interaction needs to blossom into a friendship.

And here’s the part I need you to hear:

If you are seeking friendship in this industry—cool. That’s allowed. But not everyone is going to be your friend.

What we should be seeking is a support system.

Let’s break that down:

Friendship: A close, mutual bond built on trust, shared experiences, and emotional connection. Often requires regular time, energy, and reciprocity.

Support System: A network of people who offer guidance, encouragement, and shared knowledge—without the emotional weight or personal obligation of a friendship.

See the difference?

A support system doesn’t need to know about your kid’s soccer game. You don’t need to text them about your breakup. You might not even talk every week. But when you need help in business? When you need to vent about a client or celebrate a win? That support system is there.

And that’s powerful.

When someone said in the anonymous post that they felt like they were “paying for friendship,” it hit me. Because they’ve got it twisted. You’re not paying for friendship. You’re investing in your business. You’re paying to be in the room. To learn. To grow. To connect with other people who are also building something.

No one owes you friendship. No one owes you their time, energy, or attention.

Friendship is earned. Support is offered.

And to be real—you have to show up how you want to be shown up for. You don’t get to demand connection if you’re not willing to pour into it too.

It might sound harsh, but the ones who get it… get it. And the ones who don’t? Probably won’t.

Let’s stop chasing those high-school-level expectations of friendship in the beauty industry. Let’s release the pressure of needing deep, personal connections with every artist we meet. Let’s normalize support systems—relationships that are safe, empowering, rooted in respect, and don’t come with strings attached.

And if a friendship does happen naturally along the way? That’s beautiful. But let’s stop measuring our success or worth by how many “industry besties” we have. We can still be amazing humans, cheer each other on, show love online, meet up once a month, and keep our character strong—without making others feel bad for not doing more.

We are not teenagers anymore. We are grown adults. Let’s lead with self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and open minds.

The industry will be better for it.